We met when I was four years old. You were wild and strange and like nothing I’ve seen before. Your violent outbursts scared me, but the sheer delight it brought to the surrounding faces had me thinking you meant no harm. Too soon you left the way you came, sudden and without warning, and you stayed away for a long time. I missed you instantly and fiercely and knew at that moment I never wanted to be without you. Over time, my feelings kept growing. You were never as committed as I was, but I didn’t care. I just loved you more and more. Every time you disappeared, you left my heart broken and bruised. Each time you appeared. all were forgiven. I couldn’t help myself. I still can’t. There’s something so intoxicating about you… Is it your passionate eruptions, your calming rhythm late at night? Is it the way you smell on my skin? No matter… you have me craving, and it’s maddening. I’m still hooked, my heart forever yours and I still miss you; each sun-filled, clear-blue-sky morning, I miss you.
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Photo by Rhendi Rukmana on Unsplash
A Swansong in Ash and Ember
I have loved from the fireline—bold, open,unafraid of the burn. I have danced the dance ofalmost-lovers,almost-timings,almost-yes. But I do not burn myselfto
Willem Jacobs
March 24, 2025
