He kept noticing her throughout the day, while they were playing on the beach, dipping in and out of the icy water escaping the heat, she sat there, in one place, staring out over the water. Later when it was time to go home, his friends packing up, he felt uneasy leaving her; something was amiss. “I’ll catch up.” He shouted over his shoulder and walked over to her. She looked so sad, her legs clutched to her chest, her chin resting on her knees, she’d been crying. “Are you okay?” She lifted her gaze from the water but didn’t answer. “Can I sit?” He asked again, she gave what looked like a nod and spoke, “I’m imagining what it would feel like to walk in there and keep walking.” His alarm must’ve shown, she waved him off, “I don’t have self harm tendencies.” “Then why the thoughts?” He asked. “You want the PG version or the truth?” “Both.” He said. “I’m writing a suicidal character…” She paused, “… or my husband did just that.” She gestured to the water, “Right there, a year ago today.” She lowered her chin, her eyes pooling. “Fuck” He whispered. “Fuck indeed.” She almost smiled.

A Swansong in Ash and Ember
I have loved from the fireline—bold, open,unafraid of the burn. I have danced the dance ofalmost-lovers,almost-timings,almost-yes. But I do not burn myselfto keep another warm.I





